How to Deal With Losing a Friend

Out of Reach and Gone

Out of Reach and Gone (By Mpagi Steven Tyler)

Losing a friend can be really tough, especially when it is through no fault of your own. Even though you might feel sad, realize that it’s not the end of the world. You will get over it and you will make new friends. But if you really feel too sad to make new friends, try making up with the friend you lost. And always know that that friend was not a true friend anyways.

Here i have posted the ten top steps to take you throught this time , and help you move on and get over the past and prepare you for the new future and new friends.



Take time to mourn over your loss. This big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.


The person who has hurt you may claim that you have been the poor friend. Consider the possibility that you may have contributed to the situation. Be real with yourself. Were you a bad friend?


After giving yourself some time to grieve the friendship, stop thinking about it all the time. It can drive you crazy. You may never know what happened, or why your friend let you down. You may never know why you didn’t realize what kind of person this was in the first place. You may begin to fear making friends because of the risk that you will be betrayed again. It’s time to stop these thoughts.


When you find that you are thinking about the person who has hurt you, stop immediately. Breathe in deeply, and use your inner voice to repeat something positive. For example, “I am a good person. The world is full of good things for me.” Repeat this every time you find that you are thinking about the past.


Find a new hobby, activity or regular social event. Don’t sit around and sob incessantly. Do something proactive and lively to distract your mind and soul. Quit moping and resume your path in life. Go shopping, treat yourself to an ice cream at your local restaurant, or go and play a sport. Take up a hobby or set yourself a challenge, such as a 5000 piece jigsaw or beating the computer at a game of chess.

What happens next after he/ she is gone?

What happens next after he/ she is gone?

 7. Find a new friend. There is always someone new. Talk to people around school, college, work or your neighborhood. Talk to people that you have never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be nice and friendly, but don’t be overly friendly the first time you approach them. Just go up and say “Hi” or something, and try to act casually. If you start talking to each other, don’t act too eager to be friends too quickly. Just be yourself and stay casual. And take it calmly and slowly – simply because you have lost one friend doesn’t mean you should rush out and find another replacement. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and good tending.

8. Avoid spending time thinking of ways to make your former friend jealous. This will only make you look sad and desperate and it only ever rebounds on yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse your sorrowful side but they are a pure waste of energy and dig a deeper level of sadness and inaction for you. If you try to take revenge, it will be very hard if you want to make friends with him or her again. See step 1 again if you find yourself falling into this trap.

9. Keep a casual relationship with your former friend. When you see your former friend around, don’t be sour or nasty. If he or she talks to you, don’t ignore your former friend. Just say hi back and if you still don’t want to have a long conversation, be polite and just excuse yourself. Having an appointment or a homework assignment to complete are good enough excuses.



Find things to smile about. Do something for someone, raise money for charity by doing a sponsored run, do things that make you happy again. Realize that you don’t need this person to make you happy, and it is not the end of the world now that they have gone. It is one of life’s lessons and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what happened for you to learn from.

Losing a friend may be hard to cope with and sometimes there will always be that gap that cant be filled with any other friend, somefriends are so special to us that they forver will be with us . this post is dedicated to my greatest and short lived friend Shannon Rupert , the person that liked but had to let go for both our happiness to be fullfilled.




Whats your source of Inspiration?

By Tyler Steven Mpagi


Recently i have been writing about many thing that make me the kind of person i am today, but i realized that still have not actually been fair if i forget to write about what or were i pick up my inspiration.An inspiration in my own words is something that drives your desire to get something done, it can be anything simple or  complex depending on what kind of dream you are trying to achieve. An inspiration works together with your dream and ambitions in life as a person, actually it works as the supporting pillar and without it, your dream will be like a fantasy life that you wish to live.


Some people over look the simple things that they would pick inspirations from and target  much bigger things that would not be easy to relate to their goals and thus ending up over weighing their abilities. “Let me expalin this a little more, Lets say you have always wanted to become a rich in life, it all starts with looking at the people that you would like to be like, then looking at that have become more like your source of inspiration and finally you will focus on the smallest stage you can get started with to climb your  way up to the top of your dream, so the point is to realize that even if your inspiration is bigger than you think you can dream to make it,start with a simpler stage to get you to that bigger inspiration”

There are so many ways to find inspiration in daily life. It does not require a lot of money or time. The only requirement is to open your spiritual eyes and choose to see life, and life’s natural wonders, in a new light. I have managed to research alittle about how can be inspired and the steps you need to focus on on your way to achieve your goals.


Find who you want to inspire you. If you know a person who has the same likes that you want to have, use them as your Idol. Think, feel and act like the person who inspires you. This will gradually mold you into achieving your aims.


Start researching them. Do some of the things that you found out that they do. Just don’t go overboard or you’ll get obsessed. Remind yourself constantly so you keep yourself on track.


Do what they did. If they made a difference in the world, like maybe saved some lives, do something small first like, helping someone up when they fall and start working up towards the big stuff.


Alternatively, draw your inspiration from nature. Notice the simple and exquisite beauty of a rose, a scenic beauty, a flowing river or anything that you may find awesome. Notice how effortless the beauty of nature can be. A tree may grow in strength and beauty requiring very little effort. Strive to obtain your inspiration from the natural beauty around you.


Read motivational and self help literature. Many books and articles are available on how one can become motivated or inspired to achieve a goal or help oneself reach for the stars. Constantly remind yourself of these rules and get to these books right away. Keep them available for constant referral.

Inspiration does not come like a bolt. Nor is it kinetic, energetic striving. It comes into us slowly and quietly all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.

Thanks for reading….Tyler steven.



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