Losing a friend can be really tough, especially when it is through no fault of your own. Even though you might feel sad, realize that it’s not the end of the world. You will get over it and you will make new friends. But if you really feel too sad to make new friends, try making up with the friend you lost. And always know that that friend was not a true friend anyways.
Here i have posted the ten top steps to take you throught this time , and help you move on and get over the past and prepare you for the new future and new friends.
Take time to mourn over your loss. This big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.
The person who has hurt you may claim that you have been the poor friend. Consider the possibility that you may have contributed to the situation. Be real with yourself. Were you a bad friend?
After giving yourself some time to grieve the friendship, stop thinking about it all the time. It can drive you crazy. You may never know what happened, or why your friend let you down. You may never know why you didn’t realize what kind of person this was in the first place. You may begin to fear making friends because of the risk that you will be betrayed again. It’s time to stop these thoughts.
When you find that you are thinking about the person who has hurt you, stop immediately. Breathe in deeply, and use your inner voice to repeat something positive. For example, “I am a good person. The world is full of good things for me.” Repeat this every time you find that you are thinking about the past.
Find a new hobby, activity or regular social event. Don’t sit around and sob incessantly. Do something proactive and lively to distract your mind and soul. Quit moping and resume your path in life. Go shopping, treat yourself to an ice cream at your local restaurant, or go and play a sport. Take up a hobby or set yourself a challenge, such as a 5000 piece jigsaw or beating the computer at a game of chess.
7. Find a new friend. There is always someone new. Talk to people around school, college, work or your neighborhood. Talk to people that you have never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be nice and friendly, but don’t be overly friendly the first time you approach them. Just go up and say “Hi” or something, and try to act casually. If you start talking to each other, don’t act too eager to be friends too quickly. Just be yourself and stay casual. And take it calmly and slowly – simply because you have lost one friend doesn’t mean you should rush out and find another replacement. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and good tending.
8. Avoid spending time thinking of ways to make your former friend jealous. This will only make you look sad and desperate and it only ever rebounds on yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse your sorrowful side but they are a pure waste of energy and dig a deeper level of sadness and inaction for you. If you try to take revenge, it will be very hard if you want to make friends with him or her again. See step 1 again if you find yourself falling into this trap.
9. Keep a casual relationship with your former friend. When you see your former friend around, don’t be sour or nasty. If he or she talks to you, don’t ignore your former friend. Just say hi back and if you still don’t want to have a long conversation, be polite and just excuse yourself. Having an appointment or a homework assignment to complete are good enough excuses.
Find things to smile about. Do something for someone, raise money for charity by doing a sponsored run, do things that make you happy again. Realize that you don’t need this person to make you happy, and it is not the end of the world now that they have gone. It is one of life’s lessons and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what happened for you to learn from.
Losing a friend may be hard to cope with and sometimes there will always be that gap that cant be filled with any other friend, somefriends are so special to us that they forver will be with us . this post is dedicated to my greatest and short lived friend Shannon Rupert , the person that liked but had to let go for both our happiness to be fullfilled.